You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
