Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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