I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
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