I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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