...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I think i got beer on your cat.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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