apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
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Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
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I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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