I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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