we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
