I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
