He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
