You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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