I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Randomize
