I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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