please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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