Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
