Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
