'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
