Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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