I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
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