Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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