Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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