what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
