who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
