so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
