you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
