yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
