the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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