Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
