I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
