i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
