...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Farmville is her only friend.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Randomize
