I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
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I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
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Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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