yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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