wat bout pragnant strippers??
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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