So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
