"it" just moved
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
