He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
