How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Randomize
