____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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