if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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