We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
