apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
