Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Two words: blizzard sex
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
