So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
