carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Found your dick twin last night
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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