it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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