No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
