ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
