Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
