Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize