I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
