THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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