i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
