Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
