I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
