I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize