She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
my liver is dry heaving
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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