This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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