I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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