First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
you would pick up someone in the library
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
