rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
