Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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