whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
