i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize