its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize
