Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
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He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
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I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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